Stumbling Out of the Gate

The push of the button, the opening of the gates, the tug of the jockeys, the quick strides of hoofs, the cloud of exciting dust, and the anticipation of the finish line all leads to the claim of the roses. The triumphant horse gallops to the winner’s circle, the small-sized jockey on it becomes an immortal giant in the record books. Success is sweeter than honey indeed.

But what happens when the newlywed couple stumble out of their wedding gate? What should happen if the marital horse slows down at the one-mile mark? If his horse is limping when only two horses’ length to the finish line, can the jockey carry his horse? These are unsettling questions we never want to face.

The reality that working on marriage is a task rather than a sweet fantasy often starts within the first few months of exchanging wedding rings. The marriage contract and wedding vows lose their wow when unanticipated challenges creep up like weeds in a perfect lawn. However, the conversion from daydream to nightmare is not a twenty-four-hour ordeal. The uneven surface causing the trip and fall is often there before the “I do” but was missed. The marital counselor may touch on many factors to promote harmony, but what he would have handed the lovebirds remains tools that only they can use to build the future they desire. So, I ask you my beloved, “what is in your toolbox?”